There are many things to work out before bringing Mother home. She used to be able to walk up stairs, now she can't. She used to be able to fix her own food, now she can't. She used to be able to take care of her own personal needs, and now she can't. The change happened quickly, as we are told is usually the way it goes.
The best thing we have done was to hire a Home Health Care company to help us through this process. They will oversee the health details and watch for what we might miss. A CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) will come in during the week as needed to bathe and check on health. A companion will come in one evening a week so my husband and I can have a 'date night'. We have been told it is very important to build in time for ourselves, both individually and together.
There have to be some changes in the house as well. No longer can she live in her nice little garden level apartment in the house. We have moved her to our daughter's bedroom, which is next door to ours. The domino effect of that move is still in progress.  Daughter has to move to the old guest room, Mother's old bedroom becomes the new guest room.
Stair lifts, lift chairs, grab bars, transfer benches, toilet assist items-- we have been introduced to an entire world of elder care items. Who knew? We are waiting for a determination as to whether we need a hospital bed for her, other than that I think we are finished with the paraphernalia part of this transformation...

Three years ago my husband and I decided to bring his aging mother (Mother) from Texas to live with us in Colorado. We bought a bigger house with a walk-out basement with enough room to build her an apartment. We put in a kitchen, prettied it up and moved her in. That was three years ago.
Three months ago Mother went into the hospital and almost didn't come out. Over the last three years we had witnessed the classic symptoms of elder aging and decline, but didn't know what we didn't know. She made it through and is currently ensconced in a nursing home. Sad. She is not happy. Even though it is a good home, with a great reputation (and cost supports all of that) there are things that just can't be done to improve her health in that environment. And she is sad. She wants to be home. We want her to be home. So home she will come! We are planning for June 24th. This blog will chronicle our adventure as we go through this. I will note things to watch for if you are doing something similar with your elder loved one. I will sometimes have links to sites that I find helpful. My husband and I are amateurs at this, but we are willing to learn and will pay attention from now forward.